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Writer's picturejenniferjoriley

Finding My Strands of Strength—or Not: Struggling With My Search for a Wig During My Cancer Journey

Hi Friends! Welcome to the first blog post for Journey Bags. Thank you for joining me as I share some of my own experiences as a breast cancer SURVIVOR!


As a survivor, my cancer journey has been a long and informative one. It has taught me many invaluable lessons, especially when it was time to find a wig or other headcovers. With the love and support of my friends and family, I found the courage to explore different options to find what was best for me.


I never thought that losing my hair would bother me. I have short hair anyway, so I always thought that if the time ever came in my life when cancer would be a part of my journey, I would just “rock the bald.” It’s easy to say how you would react or what you would do if faced with hair loss, but when that becomes a reality for you, it is hard to face.

Among many challenging moments that I vividly remember, one that stands out for me is when my hair started falling out. It was Day 10 after my first chemo treatment. I had gotten up in the early morning to use the bathroom. I mindlessly ran my fingers through my hair and ended up with a handful strands. Even though I knew it was coming, the sight of that handful of hair flooded me with emotions. I made my way back to the bed where my early-riser husband was lying there awake. I told him that my hair was falling out. He held me while I cried for about ten minutes, and then I jumped up out of the bed and said, “Let’s go! We are shaving my head!”


I had read that shaving your head had given many cancer patients a sense of control amidst the chaos of battling cancer. I also had a friend share with me that, as her hair fell out, she would find clumps of hair around the house or in the car. The idea of shaving my head instead of prolonging the situation resonated with me.


My husband, Roy, with gentle hands and a caring heart, helped me shave my head. First, I used scissors to cut my hair about an inch short. Then, Roy used clippers to shave my head. Still stubbly, Roy thought I would feel more comfortable if it were shaved with a razor, so he lathered up my head, and I trusted him as he shaved it down. Oddly enough, the act of shaving my head was kinda fun!

Once I lost my hair, my daughter, Hannah Jo, asked if I would consider getting a wig that was made of her hair. Hannah Jo has beautiful long, thick hair. At first, I was hesitant. I was fearful that she would cut her hair, and then I wouldn’t like the wig. I told her that, if I accepted her gracious offer, she couldn’t be upset with me if I get the wig and don’t like it. I had heard the good, bad, and ugly about wigs. I had heard that they can be itchy and hot. I was reluctant, but Hannah Jo agreed that she wouldn’t be upset if I didn’t wear the wig. She shared that cutting her hair was more of an act of solidarity.


So I did the research. I found an organization online that makes wigs out of human hair. They said that they would use my daughter’s hair for my wig, but that it takes the hair of about 11 people to make one adult-sized wig. Hannah Jo still wanted to give what hair she could for my wig. She made an appointment with her hairdresser, Whitney, and the hair was chopped! It was a mixed bag of feelings for me. I was so humbled and felt so loved by her donation of hair, but I also felt undeserving of it. It’s impossible to put into words the emotions that go with someone being willing to cut their hair for you!


In this post, I’m eager to not only share my story, but also want to provide helpful tips, valuable resources, and alternatives to wigs that I wish were readily available to me during my own experience.


1. Start Early and Take Your Time: The Quest for a Perfect Headcover

My first tip for fellow cancer fighters is to start looking for a wig early. This will allow you the space to explore various options and style prior to feeling icky. Though you are starting early, take your time. Not rushing the process will give you a chance to find a wig (or other head covering) that makes you feel both confident and comfortable. I struggled to find a wig that truly resonated with my spirit and personality.


2. Choosing a Wig: Finding a Wig That Makes You Feel More Like Yourself

Some people desire to have a wig that looks like the hair that they had before your diagnosis. For me, this was an unrealistic expectation. I waited 12 weeks for my wig to be made, and when it came, it was nothing like I had expected. I had sent a picture of the color and style that I wanted. For years, I have worn a short pixie cut and that’s what I asked for, but when my wig came, it was all one length and shoulder-length. I honestly thought they had sent me the wrong wig! I called and was told that I was supposed to take my wig to my hairdresser and have her cut it to the style I wanted. I was shocked! This is not what I understood at all! But I played along and headed to the salon with my wig. Let’s just say that Whitney did the best she could, but with the way the wig was made, she really couldn’t make it look like “me.” I guess you could call it a #wigfail! My suggestion is that you order a variety of wigs that you can try on to see what makes you feel most like YOU!


#JourneyTruth: Some patients discover that wigs can be more than a cover-up; they are an opportunity to have fun with different looks!


Ever wonder what you would look like in a particular style or color? This is a good time to embrace the opportunity try different cuts and colors without permanent commitment. A friend of mine even had a vibrant pink wig that looked amazing on her! So have fun experimenting with different style and colors to discover what makes you feel your best. Who would think that wigs can be a gateway to self-expression and newfound courage?!


Our Journey Bags Resource Guides suggests the following websites for browsing wigs:

· headcovers.com

· wigs.com

· bestwigoutlet.com

· lustahair.com


These websites explore a diverse selection of high-quality wigs that suit various preferences and budgets.


If you’re in Murray, Kentucky, the Merle Norman Shop is now carrying two brands of wigs. They have a selection of wigs in stock that you can try on, and they will also order what you want if they don’t have it. If you don’t like the wig, they won’t make you keep it! No matter where you buy a wig, be sure to look at the return policy. Some companies do not allow wigs to be returned. This was a road block for me during my search.


3. The Journey Beyond Wigs: Wig Alternatives for a Personal Touch

After some trial and error, I realized that wigs weren’t the right fit (pun intended) for me. I didn’t feel like “me” in a wig, so I opted for choices that were more comfortable to wear. I was never really worried about hiding my hair loss. Honestly, covering my head was, at times, more about the people around me than it was for me; it can be hard for your loved ones to see you without hair.


#JourneyTruth: Bald is beautiful!


Being bald wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I discovered that my head is perfectly round; I kinda looked cute with a bald head. It was harder for me to lose my eyebrows and eyelashes than it was to lose my hair. Duh—I never thought about losing hair in other places. Chemo does not discriminate when it comes to hair follicles. Cancer patients who lose the hair on their head also lose eyebrows, eyelashes, nose hair (which means snot will run right out of your nose—ewww), pit hair, arm/leg hair, and even your “down-there” hair. For me, growing my hair back was very difficult. Even though I shaved my head, my hair didn’t fall out at the same time, so it didn’t grow back at the same time. Regrowth was very patchy. I have teased and said that I looked like a balding old man!


My favorite way to cover my head was with beanies. During the winter months, knitted beanies provided comfort and warmth, but once the weather changed, I found them


to be too hot. Headcovers Unlimited was my favorite place to buy thin cotton beanies that provided protection for my sensitive skin, shielding it from the sun and other elements. I also wore scarves, but I discovered that cotton scarves stay put. The satin and silky scarves tend to slip off, making it awkward to have to take it off and retie it in front of others. I wore some ball caps, too, but this wasn’t my go-to choice because they can cause irritation to your sensitive scalp. It’s also helpful to purchase headcovers without seams and embellishments as they can cause irritation to a cancer patient’s sensitive scalp.

Here are some of my favorite places to find a variety of headcovers:

· Headcovers Unlimited

· Hope Scarves

· Butterfly Kisses Co.


THE SILVER LINING: Wigs can allow cancer patients to feel more like themselves, but wigs aren’t for everyone, and that’s OK. The silver lining in my search for a wig is that, once friends and family saw Hannah Jo’s post about donating her hair, 14 other women cut their hair and donated it in my honor so that it could be included in my wig or be used for others who were in need. I can’t begin to explain how grateful I was, and will forever be, for those who made that sacrifice for me!


The journey of finding the right wig, hat, or scarf during your cancer battle can be stressful. Whether you choose a wig or opt for alternative headwear such as a hat or scarf, the most important thing is finding what makes you feel comfortable and empowered. Remember, every step toward reclaiming your confidence is a stride closer to healing both inside and out.


To all my fellow cancer warriors—stay strong, keep fighting, and never forget that you are beautiful no matter what hair you wear (or don’t wear)! –Jennifer `

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1 Comment


tbrunston749
Aug 03, 2023

Thank you for sharing the picture of the wig, I wondered how it turned out and if you ended up using it. The color was beautiful but it definitely did not look like you. I agree, your baldness was beautiful ❣️ I also love your new hair!!

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